Deepened Thoughts
by miss.wendi
Summary: Life is unexpected...*gasp* something is happening to tohru, and whatever it is, it seems to be tearin her apart....


Author's Note: Okay, Fruits Basket does not belong to me and anything that is written here is only an expression of my imagination and my love for FB ^^. Okay, this is my first fan sub, so please be forgiving ^^? I've only ever seen the series once, so please excuse me for any mishaps or mistakes that I've made. I'm writing this to express the things that have been going on in my life lately. I thought that perhaps if I put my story in words, it will help me cope with the current events in my world.  
  
.nieh, I really should be studying for my exams ¬¬.but oh well ^^!  
  
Well, I've told you enough about my life dilemma, and I'll begin with my story.  
  
Deepened Thoughts  
  
It's only been two months  
  
I cannot stop thinking about the past  
  
I can't let go  
  
Of how things use to be  
  
When I was so carefree  
  
So lighthearted,  
  
So happy.  
  
It seemed that I was soaring high above the heavens  
  
And all of a sudden,  
  
My wings broke,  
  
And I was falling  
  
Falling.  
  
Into an eternal darkness  
  
This was all that ran through Tohru's mind as the first tear in many months ran down her pale cheeks. She was entangled in her thoughts as each memory stabbed her like a jagged blade. She could hear nothing but her own silent screams that were scarred and embedded in her mind.  
  
  
  
Tears poured down her face. She could not hold them back any longer. Although it may have seemed that she was in perpetual pain, it had came more to her as a relief than anything. Emotions that had been bottled and entwined within her soul were finally released.  
  
Sorrow  
  
Ignorance  
  
Confusion  
  
Betrayal  
  
Regret  
  
Everything had changed too fast. She could not catch what was coming, until it hit her. If only she had foreseen this. There were so many things that she wished she'd never done. So many things she would have taken back. The word rolled across her mind again.  
  
Regret  
  
Again.  
  
Regret  
  
She couldn't take it anymore. She slammed her head onto the table and dug her nails into her scalp. More tears began to run down her face. She shut her eyes until she could see nothing more.  
  
Solitude  
  
She could spot nothing but an endless blanket of darkness. She twirled around, as anxiety began to build within her until she saw it - her inner self. The girl was huddled up like a frightened child.  
  
Tohru approached her without hesitation. As she neared her, she noticed something that gave her quite a shock. The girl was crying red tears. Blood ran slowly down her face from her eyes until she lifted her head and saw her.  
  
Tohru lent out a hand to the troubled girl, but she quickly jerked back and slapped it away.  
  
She stood there in silence, as she watched herself. The darkness from the background stretched and began to consume the young girl. Her eyes widened and were filled with angst. She looked around frantically to hold onto something before she was completely one with the darkness.  
  
She could reach nothing.  
  
In her last attempt she held out her hand to Tohru.  
  
A silent scream of plea echoed through the emptiness.  
  
Tohru refused as she watched the blackness swallow the young girl.  
  
There was nothing left.  
  
She screamed, but there was no voice.  
  
Her eyes opened wide as cold sweat drenched the upper half of her body. Her breathing and heart beat had increased. She looked out her window and could see nothing but the stars.  
  
She took a quick glance at her alarm clock that continuously flickered 4:00 a.m.  
  
Author's note: Sorry guys ^^, I know I went kind of far there, but I had serious writers block. And please excuse the length of this fic, I promise I'll write a longer one next time^^. How about I come back and edit this a little later? Anyway, I'm not really sure how I'm going to continue this, but I hope u guys will take the time and give me a review.  
  
Okay, just a little note ( when I uploaded this, the text got really messed up. I've fixed it up already here, so please stop flaming me about it ^^;;. Also, I know the plot is not really clear right now, but this is how I planned it, so I hope you guys will just bare with me and let me continue on. I made it so that Tohru is really troubled about "something" that you'll later find out. So that's all for now, ja ne ^^ 


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